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Do you say this word a lot?

I say this to almost every client.

Replace should with could or want.

I hear the word should all the time.

I should have said that instead.

I should have remembered his birthday.

I should have chosen differently.

The context of should is often beating yourself up.


Most of us, most of the time, are doing the best we can in any given moment.

So, why should we have said it differently, remembered the birthday, chosen the blue paint instead of the mustard paint?

Should places blame on yourself.

Should creates a sense of burden.

Should embodies a victim mindset.

Should speaks poorly of your previous, best decision.

Here's an important fact. 

When we say something out loud it has 10x the power than if it remained a thought. If what we say is negative, it has 40-70x more power.

Should is negative.

This tiny word spoken time and time again has a physiological, spiritual and emotional impact.

Give yourself a break.

If you look back and did the best you could, should doesn't apply.

If, upon reflection, you realize there is another choice, a more aligned choice, then start using could or want.

I want to be kinder with my words.

I want to remember Don's birthday.

I could choose differently next time based on this experience.

As you say that out loud, does it feel different?

To me it feels lighter, more energizing, like I have choices. It embodies the spirit of "I get to..."

Don't make your previous choice mean anything about you, especially something that's negative.

Should is a function of not giving yourself permission to grow, learn, and make mistakes.

Start noticing how often you say should and replace it with could or want.

It's a small tweak in the direction of greater integrity, greater confidence, and a sense of self that feels really good.

Much Love,

Sarah x

p.s. Do you know we have created a Pump it Up Membership where you can grow your confidence through Pump Up Sessions and Coaching Circles? Come join us. It's a riot. As Heather described last week's call, "Who doesn't want to shake your booty, feel beautiful, and rethink your life at lunchtime?"