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What a Saturday That was

On Saturday I felt so depressed. It came seemingly out of nowhere. I woke up feeling good, had taken Austin to open his own bank account, and once we got home I felt sad and low.  

One of my mentors reminded me that it's important to parent myself, to not let myself descend into helplessness. 

I didn't want to have to do more things to help myself. Are you kidding me? Don't I do enough already?  Why can't I just wake up and feel normal? 

And because I've been here one hundred times before my body remembered that the pain of not helping myself is far worse than the pain of being responsible.

I tidied my room, I cried on Preston's shoulder and got honest about what I was feeling, I journaled, I called my Al Anon sponsor, I read my daily readings, I foam-rolled, I stretched, I left a message for a friend in response to something hard she was going through, and I started some forgiveness work after I discovered the day before, in a breath work session, that the most potent lie I believe about myself is, "There is something wrong with me."

Maybe it was the realization of that lie that made me feel topsy-turvy. My body knew it could no longer hide that truth and needed to recalibrate.

I'm proud that I parented myself well and recognized where my behavior was unmanageable.

Remember to parent yourself well and know that there is power in being powerless.


Sarah x