I just read a post on Instagram that said, "True self care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don't need to regularly escape from." - Brianna Wiest.
C'mon now! Preach.
In a recent Pump Up Session with a sorority at Ohio University I said similar words.
Chocolate cake and salt baths and massages and wine can be wonderful. We want them. What we really want more of is to do our work.
Let me be clear, if you feel restless, unsure or down in the dumps then you want something different. You and I both know that the delight of the chocolate cake can be temporary because right after eating it you're back to how you felt five minutes earlier.
In actual fact, the chocolate cake is more often about escapism than not.
Doing your work, on the other hand, creates a more sustainable result.
We need to understand our fears and our desires, our strengths and our shortcomings. We need to tell the truth about what's keeping us up at night, what we're ashamed about and what we wish we had never said. We need to celebrate our wins, contributions, and gifts.
What if next time you take a bath you also take the time to journal? And you ask yourself, Who am I pretending to be?
What if next time when you still feel dissatisfied after eating the chocolate cake you start to hum and breathe to regulate your nervous system?
What if you join a safe space like the Full of Herself Membership where you can tell your hard truths and feel less alone?
I had friends over last night and we shared hard, hard things. There were tears and laughter and connection. We all need to feel seen and heard.
I have never heard someone say that they've worked on developing a relationship with themselves and their life has become worse. It doesn't work that way.
Please remember that true self care is a series of repetitive acts that create joy and contentment as often as possible. When that's your reality you don't feel the need to escape from yourself and your life.
p.s. Please forward this to a woman you love who wants to work on herself and needs a little encouragement and direction.