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You Think you Live in Reality. Here's Why you Don't.

I don’t live in reality because I create stories for everything that happens. So do you, {{first_name}}.

This realization has revolutionized the way I live.


Over time, I have learned that my stories go deeper than I ever imagined.


Stories have little bearing on the truth.


In every situation, there is what happened, and the story we apply to it.


Here’s a real-life example from this morning:


What happened: Preston said, quite vehemently, that he doesn’t like it when he finds his glasses face down because they can get scratched.


My story: He doesn’t appreciate how much I clean up and he likes to bicker over small things.


Here’s an important note. Our stories reflect our spiritual condition.


I had these thoughts for a few seconds and, through years of practice, I remembered that I didn’t have to assign any meaning to his words. There are some days when that is not the case at all and I’m mad as heck.


Here’s another example of something that happened recently.


I went car shopping. I went into a Honda dealership and was seriously considering buying a red CRV. I was told there is only one red Honda CRV left. If I don’t sign today, there are two other people waiting to purchase it.


My story: I didn’t like Gary, the salesman. I felt pressured into buying the car. I wasn’t sure what to do. This Honda dealership has really turned me off. This is why I don’t like going car shopping alone because car salesman love to take advantage of women.


Firstly, “feeling pressured” doesn’t exist. It’s a made-up construct.


Secondly, let’s break down the second story by the facts.


  1. I went to a Honda dealership to see if there was a car Id like to buy.

  2. Gary told me it was available today and that two other people wanted to buy it if I didn’t.

  3. I was alone.

  4. I had an emotional response to the experience.


That’s it! Nothing else at all.


Have you ever re-told your story using only facts? It’s an effective way to ground yourself in reality.


You might think you know these concepts. I would encourage you to remember that knowledge isn’t knowledge until it lives in your bones.


Natasha Dern wrote a great article describing our version of reality as an illusion. It’s a great read.


My other important learning on this topic is, if I’m going to apply meaning to everything (which I am), why not make the meaning a good one, one that works in my favor?


Here are the two stories with a meaning that makes my life better and that are more firmly rooted in what happened.


  1. Preston’s glasses are important and he’s communicating something that is important to him. Thanks for telling me.

  2. Gary was helpful and he works on his commission. He really wants to sell this car to do well at work and for the people he loves. I, however, am unsure.


Enjoy living a little more in what happened so your emotional response is less up and down and more neutral.


With love and better meanings for your special life.


Sarah x


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