One Girl's Story About Learning to be Confident
People think I'm naturally confident. I think that's true, and it's not.
I'll say this a million times; it's always AND.
When I was a teenager I remember turning bright red when I was asked a question on the spot.
I remember my heart racing, during class, practicing what I was going to say over and over in my head so I could raise my hand, answer the question, and sound good.
Turning bright red was brutal. It made the anxiety of trying to "look good" even worse.
My nerves were visibly on show.
As time went on, I remember asking people, "Did I just turn red?" after speaking. Sometimes I was red, sometimes I wasn't. That was equally tricky because I couldn't predict when and why it would occur. I would always feel red even though I didn't look it. That brought some relief.
At some point, I grew out of turning red. I'm not sure when or why, exactly. I feel pretty confident it had something to do with becoming more and more comfortable with who I am. It's not something I have suffered with since being in my 30's.
Recently, we were talking to Austin about perseverance, about doing hard things.
Preston surprised me when he said, "You know how Mummy speaks in front of people and she does it well? Well, Mummy wasn't always great at that. She's worked really, really hard to develop that skill." Austin nodded in agreement.
My heart swelled because I have worked hard to develop my confidence. Confidence is a learnable, teachable skill. Long may the work continue. I can't wait to see who I am in my 60's.
To provide further proof, I was on a call with two ladies last Friday and I found myself saying, "Nothing makes me more nervous than getting on stage, and it's also the thing I was born to do."
It's always AND.
If you're struggling with your sense of self, if you wish you were more confident, remember you have your journey, too.
Keep doing the work of getting to know yourself so your actions and your values can align, and watch the miracles unfold.
If you're looking for a place to do that work, I'd recommend The Pump it Up Membership.
You're a miracle.
Here's to you,
Sarah x