What Can You Do When You're Scared of Change?

We've all been there. Change is in the air and you're hoping it slides right on by and somehow forgets its plan for you so you don't have to deal with that big knot in your stomach.

Gosh darn it change. Again, really?, you think to yourself.

Whether it's knowing you need to get out of your marriage, start a new professional chapter, accept a change in a friendship, organize your taxes differently instead of doing them last minute, or finding the courage to have that difficult conversation with your colleague, change kicks up all sorts of internal challenges; blame, denial, and people-pleasing are the most common ones I hear from my clients.

When you know change is inevitable and you're either kicking the can down the road or, your knickers are all in a bunch because you don't yet trust yourself to make a decision, how can you start to handle yourself differently?

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself. I suggest literally putting pen to paper and then sharing your answers with someone you trust who will simply listen.

Even if you're not struggling with an imminent change, these are excellent questions to understand yourself more intimately.

1. What are the first thoughts and feelings you have when you hear the word change?

2. What is a change you are scared to make?

3. Are you actually scared or are there other feelings that are true too? If so, what are they?

4. What are you most afraid of happening if you make the change?

5. What might be brilliant about the change?

6. Describe a change you have made, at some point in your life, that was easy and seamless.

7. What behaviors and actions did you take and embody to make it easy and seamless?

8. How could you apply one of those behaviors and actions to the change at hand?

9. What is your ideal relationship to change?

10. What is 1 action you can take right now to move you in the direction of the change you want? (Hint: Could be a behavior or action you listed in question 7, part of your definition in question 9, or something completely new that comes to you. Be surprised and delighted by your answer because there is no wrong one.)

Navigating the uncertainties of life is a measure of how resilient we are and our level of self-esteem.

With regards to self-esteem, you can explore if you're taking the situation too personally? Are you leaning on self-pity as a coping mechanism - I do this? Are you protecting yourself by armoring up with perfectionism by trying to please others and make them like you and understand you?

I've done all of these.

Change can feel like a big ol' jumble in our minds and bodies. Little by little, with compassion and curiosity, we can start to un-jumble what we've jumbled and align with what change really is; a beautiful gift that keeps us evolving.

If, after answering these questions, you'd love me to be your trusted person who will listen and guide you in the direction of the change you want, schedule a free coaching session with me. I absolutely love working through the stories that are keeping you stuck and overwhelmed so you can start living more of the life you want. I'm doing this work with my coach in every single session because I create all sorts of unnecessary jumbles, too. It's gorgeous and annoying and completely human. I'm here for you.

With Love,

Sarah x